Reflections...

I've been trying all day to come up with some deep blog entry about the year 2010. But, in the end...we're still reeling from the past two weeks in the hospital. And, while we are home, and so very thankful for it, it isn't any easier being home...just more comfortable.

Now we have all of the home stuff to keep up with, the regular Max stuff, and added new Max stuff. It's 10:00pm on New Year's Eve, and we're watching the clock not for when to count down the minutes to the next year, but watching the time to know when to start, stop, and restart Max's IV medicines.

But, while waiting for that to happen, and guaranteeing that I'll be up until midnight to see that his medicines are all given, I thought I could try to get to that reflection bit of the year past.

When I looked into myself last year this time, and asked what I wanted to accomplish, it was clear that I needed to step out and try harder with friendships and family, and be braver with experiences. It's difficult to get to where our friends are sometimes, so we were so very fortunate to have so many friends come to us this year. This year we were visited by friends from Pennsylvania, Texas, California, England, and Michigan. Of course we had our "regulars" popping in throughout the year as well. I feel so lucky to have family and friends who understand that it is not the easiest to get to them, and still make the effort to come to us. Whether they live a couple miles away, or half a world away.

I also made a very special bond with a group of ladies we call the "super moms". It started just a few of us meeting at the cafe at Children's Hospital, and has turned unto a monthly dinner out, and an incredible support system for me. We have formed a group that is so important for all of us. And have found that it fills an empty spot we didn't know we had until we found each other.

For the bravery bit, I left Max and Steve for a week in another country...two other countries in fact. Steve and I made a decision that even though we aren't able to take Max to far off places right now, we should still go. We love to travel so much, and if we can't do it together, we shouldn't give it up altogether. So, for my birthday, I was able to go to Paris, France and London, England for a week total. I have never traveled by myself, save one trip to Tulsa from Colorado for a friend's wedding. It felt brave...and a little crazy. But, it was a trip of a lifetime. And gave me the encouragement to try it again.

Another bravery item was seeing Steve off for almost 3 weeks to India. I knew he would be fine, and I hoped we would. But, there was a lot of faith and hope that Max would stay healthy while he was gone. I was nervous, but really wanted to see if we could do it. I never like to think of what life might be like if Steve weren't around, but it's always comforting to know that I am capable to do things on my own, and ask for friend's help if I need to.

That brings me to another part of bravery...or stepping out...or basically asking for help. I do not like to ask for help. But, this year I have found myself time and time again swallowing my stubbornness or pride or whatever it is, and asking others for help. Max was in the hospital a lot this past year. We saw more hospitalizations this past year than he's ever had in a single year prior. I've had to take friends up on their offers to "call anytime if you need something"...including in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning. I've accepted meals, and my house cleaned, and babysitting when I really didn't want to...but realized I needed to accept it. And my family has been there time and time again to fill in all the little pieces I forget to ask about. And that's a good thing...and I'm still trying to learn how to let people in to help. I guess I've realized I can't...we can't do this life on our own. And that's okay too.

So those are the things I set out to do this year that got done. I'm sure if you wanted an in depth of our past year, you could go through the month links on the side here to see what our year held. We laughed, and cried, met new people and said goodbye to some. All in all though, 2010 was a fine year. It definitely felt like a year of personal growth for both of us...and Max and Abbey too.

Now on to 2011...more adventures for the Watson's. More learning and growing, and lots of love and laughter.