I'm sitting on my sofa, in my living room, all by myself, on the computer for the first time in 20 days without feeling any sort of guilt.
Max is home.
That means, we're all home. And not shuffling back and forth from home to the hospital.
I've been catching up on some emails, and responding to people welcoming us home, and giving general well wishes. I'm not at all caught up...just starting at the list of things to do.
So, for now...home things are calling. I'll be back soon.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Baby Sister...
30 years ago today, I met my first baby sister. She was my baby sister for a lot of years, before the baby-baby was born, so I guess now she's just my younger sister.
She's one of my earliest solid memories. I was just about 3 and a half years old when she was born, and I remember bits and pieces of that evening. My dad lead us through the hallway to see my grandparents in the waiting room, and it was dark outside. He told us we had a baby sister, named "Angel". . . at least that's what I heard, and I thought it was so neat that I had a sister named Angel. I finally got it right, that her name was Angela May, and we'll call her Angie.
My Uncle Daryl (Bubba), and Grandmama took me (and maybe my other sister and brother) in the elevator to see her in the nursery. I remember Bubba telling me not to touch Momma's stomach because it was sore. And Grandmama didn't have any shoes on, just in her stockings walking around the hospital. She must have been tired or hot. It was, August in Oklahoma! Then I remember seeing her through the glass.
This weekend, I got to get away from the hospital for a while to take that baby sister out to a fancy dinner. We laughed, and goofed off, and had a wonderful time.
Happy Birthday Baby Angie May!
I'm so glad mom and dad rescued you from that dumpster under a Domino's Pizza Box!
She's one of my earliest solid memories. I was just about 3 and a half years old when she was born, and I remember bits and pieces of that evening. My dad lead us through the hallway to see my grandparents in the waiting room, and it was dark outside. He told us we had a baby sister, named "Angel". . . at least that's what I heard, and I thought it was so neat that I had a sister named Angel. I finally got it right, that her name was Angela May, and we'll call her Angie.
My Uncle Daryl (Bubba), and Grandmama took me (and maybe my other sister and brother) in the elevator to see her in the nursery. I remember Bubba telling me not to touch Momma's stomach because it was sore. And Grandmama didn't have any shoes on, just in her stockings walking around the hospital. She must have been tired or hot. It was, August in Oklahoma! Then I remember seeing her through the glass.
This weekend, I got to get away from the hospital for a while to take that baby sister out to a fancy dinner. We laughed, and goofed off, and had a wonderful time.
Happy Birthday Baby Angie May!
I'm so glad mom and dad rescued you from that dumpster under a Domino's Pizza Box!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Inside myself...
Never is it more evident to me that I am truly an introvert, as when we're in the hospital.
The mornings start at around 6:00am with a team of surgery fellow, residents, and medical students waking you up. Most of the time I have just drifted off to sleep when they wake me to give me an idea of a plan for the day. Not the best moment to be making clear decisions or making sure my questions are answered.
At 7:00am, nurse shifts change. The night nurse comes in with the day nurse to go over everything she had done the night before, and give her an idea of what is to come for her oncoming shift.
In that same timeframe, the floor Resident comes in to do his/her assessment on Max. A bit after that, the Senior Resident comes in for their turn to listen to his lungs, belly and heart and get an idea of what they'll be working on for the day.
Morning medicines start coming in and he's hooked up to the never ending pumps and beeps.
I try to hurry to the restroom and wipe the sleep out of my eyes, brush my sleepy hair, and brush teeth...or at least chew on some gum...before the Attending doctors, and specialists start their rounds.
We usually stop around 1:00pm to eat. The morning is spent seeing the nine different teams following Max. Each team has at least 2 doctors who come in for a visit. They come in and want to know what our understanding from all the other teams is...and then give their advice for how things should go.
Before we know it, it is time for shift change again, and 7:00pm. We need to get something to eat for dinner, and then one of us goes home for the night with Abbey and the dogs.
The other stays on and doesn't sit down until nearly midnight because the start of their day is happening, as the end of our day is happening. Max is tired, and we are tired, but still - we are the only constant in Max's team. We're the only ones always here. So, we get to fill in the empty spaces.
Once is gets quiet...and I use that term so very loosely...and the lights go down...again, not even dark in these rooms...I feel like just hiding in a closet so I don't have to talk to a single soul.
I hit my limit this afternoon of talking. I couldn't bare it another minute, so I took a walk.
I think it must have been unseasonably cooler today. I walked outside and the wind pricked my teary eyes. It was a beautiful day. One of those days that tells you change is coming. I walked through the gardens at the hospital and ran my fingers through the tall prairie grasses. I listened to the gravel crunch under my feet. I stopped and watched a bunny chewing on a flower. And I didn't want to go back inside.
But, there was one reason I couldn't sink into my quiet place. That is Max. He needs me to be out of my shell, and speak for him because he can't.
Hopefully we'll find some answers soon as to what is going on with him. And when we finally do get home, I hope to not have to talk for a while!
The mornings start at around 6:00am with a team of surgery fellow, residents, and medical students waking you up. Most of the time I have just drifted off to sleep when they wake me to give me an idea of a plan for the day. Not the best moment to be making clear decisions or making sure my questions are answered.
At 7:00am, nurse shifts change. The night nurse comes in with the day nurse to go over everything she had done the night before, and give her an idea of what is to come for her oncoming shift.
In that same timeframe, the floor Resident comes in to do his/her assessment on Max. A bit after that, the Senior Resident comes in for their turn to listen to his lungs, belly and heart and get an idea of what they'll be working on for the day.
Morning medicines start coming in and he's hooked up to the never ending pumps and beeps.
I try to hurry to the restroom and wipe the sleep out of my eyes, brush my sleepy hair, and brush teeth...or at least chew on some gum...before the Attending doctors, and specialists start their rounds.
We usually stop around 1:00pm to eat. The morning is spent seeing the nine different teams following Max. Each team has at least 2 doctors who come in for a visit. They come in and want to know what our understanding from all the other teams is...and then give their advice for how things should go.
Before we know it, it is time for shift change again, and 7:00pm. We need to get something to eat for dinner, and then one of us goes home for the night with Abbey and the dogs.
The other stays on and doesn't sit down until nearly midnight because the start of their day is happening, as the end of our day is happening. Max is tired, and we are tired, but still - we are the only constant in Max's team. We're the only ones always here. So, we get to fill in the empty spaces.
Once is gets quiet...and I use that term so very loosely...and the lights go down...again, not even dark in these rooms...I feel like just hiding in a closet so I don't have to talk to a single soul.
I hit my limit this afternoon of talking. I couldn't bare it another minute, so I took a walk.
I think it must have been unseasonably cooler today. I walked outside and the wind pricked my teary eyes. It was a beautiful day. One of those days that tells you change is coming. I walked through the gardens at the hospital and ran my fingers through the tall prairie grasses. I listened to the gravel crunch under my feet. I stopped and watched a bunny chewing on a flower. And I didn't want to go back inside.
But, there was one reason I couldn't sink into my quiet place. That is Max. He needs me to be out of my shell, and speak for him because he can't.
Hopefully we'll find some answers soon as to what is going on with him. And when we finally do get home, I hope to not have to talk for a while!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Ticking away...
The other day, my brother in law texted me and said, you haven't written on your blog since April, that has to be some sort of record, right?
I suppose it is.
I could give all the excuses, life has been busy, I haven't known what to write, Ive been writing over at Max's blog. All true, but also, I just haven't taken the time. Thinking that my energies are better spent elsewhere. And if I have to update and write anywhere, more people care to know what's going on with Max, than what recipe I've cooked up, or the ramblings about my day.
But, I've found myself with some time to write. I was hoping I'd find some time before the end of Summer, not realizing that I didn't want that wish to come about like this.
Max is once again in the hospital. In fact, I guess he actually had a couple of procedures back in May that we were here for too that I didn't write about. Now we're in for yet another emergency abdominal surgery. This time is was caused by scar tissue from the other surgeries pinching his small intestines.
We are hanging out in the PICU at Children's. He's doing okay today. He's uncomfortable, and has a 6 inch (I think, it's covered) incision down his abdomen. They left it partially open this time to heal. Just the thought of that makes me queasy. They said we'll clean it with water and a syringe. Thank you God for nursing care at home, because this momma is not thinking I can handle that.
I have joked about what we're doing this summer to teachers and therapists, "We're not making any plans. As soon as we make plans, Max ends up in the hospital.". True to those words, we started planning a trip to Oklahoma to see my family on Labor Day, and a camping trip in a couple of weeks for my sister's birthday.
Seeing him laying in the hospital bed not able to do much of anything, both of those plans seem impossible. And of course we don't know the outcome of his recovery at this point. But, I can't believe much that we'll be going anywhere.
So, there's the update. Life just keeps ticking away. I am going to try to get back to writing, but I'm hoping to find some writing prompts, to actually practice my writing on here, rather than just updates. We'll see if I have the time to do that!!
I suppose it is.
I could give all the excuses, life has been busy, I haven't known what to write, Ive been writing over at Max's blog. All true, but also, I just haven't taken the time. Thinking that my energies are better spent elsewhere. And if I have to update and write anywhere, more people care to know what's going on with Max, than what recipe I've cooked up, or the ramblings about my day.
But, I've found myself with some time to write. I was hoping I'd find some time before the end of Summer, not realizing that I didn't want that wish to come about like this.
Max is once again in the hospital. In fact, I guess he actually had a couple of procedures back in May that we were here for too that I didn't write about. Now we're in for yet another emergency abdominal surgery. This time is was caused by scar tissue from the other surgeries pinching his small intestines.
We are hanging out in the PICU at Children's. He's doing okay today. He's uncomfortable, and has a 6 inch (I think, it's covered) incision down his abdomen. They left it partially open this time to heal. Just the thought of that makes me queasy. They said we'll clean it with water and a syringe. Thank you God for nursing care at home, because this momma is not thinking I can handle that.
I have joked about what we're doing this summer to teachers and therapists, "We're not making any plans. As soon as we make plans, Max ends up in the hospital.". True to those words, we started planning a trip to Oklahoma to see my family on Labor Day, and a camping trip in a couple of weeks for my sister's birthday.
Seeing him laying in the hospital bed not able to do much of anything, both of those plans seem impossible. And of course we don't know the outcome of his recovery at this point. But, I can't believe much that we'll be going anywhere.
So, there's the update. Life just keeps ticking away. I am going to try to get back to writing, but I'm hoping to find some writing prompts, to actually practice my writing on here, rather than just updates. We'll see if I have the time to do that!!
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