Christmas Surprise from Home...

I'm fairly certain at this point that most of you who read this blog, also read Max's blog, and/or are friends on facebook, so you know that we've had a bit of another rough December.  Which would explain the lack of posting for the majority of the month.  If you didn't know, or haven't read all about it, you can check out Max's webpage for the details.

Now, we're at the end of December, and the year, and I have to say I'm finding myself breathing a lot of sighs of relief to see it pass.  It's been a tough year.  But, it's also been a year of great excitement too.

We're on the heels of Christmas, and looking forward to the New Year around here.  We had a nice Christmas weekend together, and were happy...so happy to spend it at home.  We got a large amount of snow dumped on us last week, so it was a white Christmas, but also a very sunny Christmas.

We each got some special gifts, and were just genuinely happy to be together and everyone healthy.

On Christmas Eve, I got a package in the mail from my mom.  She told me to wait and open it with my sister when she came over for our big meal together that evening.  When we finally got it opened from the incredible tape job on the box, we found a treasure inside.



My Aunt Nancy's Christmas cookies!  We dug right in and each pulled up a piece of home.

Just look at our happy faces!  And oh yeah, we have this ridiculous way of buying the same clothes and wearing them on the same day thinking we're mighty stylish in our own right...only to find the other one had the same idea.  Out of all the choices, we also both pulled up the bell shaped cookie with blue sugar sprinkles. . . because they taste the best.  

We had a great meal together and fun opening gifts to each other.   Christmas morning, I was excited to open my couple of gifts from Steve.  I had asked for a few things, and he got them all for me.  But, he told me he had a surprise that I would never guess.  Of course, I told him to bring it to me right away in bed, but he said he couldn't put it on the bed.  I told him I didn't want another dog, or a bird, or a llama. So if it wasn't an old truck, he should bring it in to the bedroom so I didn't need to get up out of the warm covers just yet.  

He told me it wasn't going on the bed, so I just had to wait.  I hurried around and got Max's food and medicine made so we could get the gift opening going.  The kids opened their gifts, and I opened mine, and Steve then went out to the garage to get my surprise.  I really had no idea what to expect, so when he brought this in, I was so surprised.  

It must look like nothing much to most people, but to me it rendered me speechless.   I looked at him and tried to fight back the tears that are always on the verge from missing family, and feelings of disappointment for not being able to travel around this time of year.  But, it was no use.  When I had to explain to those in the room who had no idea of why I would be so thrilled to have a rusty old pot in the middle of my living room floor, the tears couldn't be held in any longer.  

It was my Grandmama's pot.  She always had flowers in it, in her front yard.  And when she died, I asked if I could have it.  I haven't really been back for long visits since she passed away, and have told my mom through the years that she can't get rid of it, because it was mine.  To my mom, it was just an old pot that wouldn't ever keep anything alive.  To me, it's Summertime with Grandmama.  It's watering her many flowers after we eat dinner.  It's moss beneath my feet.  It's big pink peonies.  It's another piece of her with me.  

When Steve was back in Oklahoma last week while Abbey was visiting her mom, he went to my mom's house and got it.  He stuck a label on it, and FedExed that 66 pound iron pot here for my Christmas surprise.  

I'll get it sandblasted and we'll get it powder-coated since it's got some rust on it, but I can not wait until Spring when I can plant flowers in it.  I think Grandmama would think it's silly and strange that I would want that "ugly ol' thing", and I guess it's funny the things we latch on to.  It just means the world to me that it's here.  And not really something I can easily explain.  I'll just keep it in my heart and know that I have a pretty wonderful husband who knows just how much it would mean without having to come up with the words.  

What Child Is This...

While we were in the hospital through Christmas last year with Max, I would sometimes take my breaks from the machines, and doctors, and frustrations in the hospital gift shop.

I would often stop and admire the Christmas Story figures.  I have bought the Willow Tree figurines for friends and family, but only have one for myself.  Seeing these large figures as the focal point when I walked into the gift shop was always comforting.

Looking at the serene characters, I would pause and say another prayer for my boy.  With the reminder that the very Jesus I prayed to was himself once just a baby in his mother's arms.

The day after Christmas, I stopped in the gift shop before to see if there were any sales to be had.  After admiring the Christmas Story nativity for years,  I got these on a great discount.  When I brought them up to Max's room, I had a red wagon to haul the boxes and pieces up with me.

I couldn't wait to bring them out of their boxes this year when decorating for Christmas.  Since Max was born, I've had a different view of Mary.  A different kind of admiration.  She had a son, who she knew was special.  Who was going to change the world.  And who she knew was going to be taken back from her one day.

I'm not at all saying I'm anything like Mary, mother of God himself.  I am saying that the Christmas story is something different to me since having Max.  It's a story of a mother and father bringing a baby into this world,  not knowing at all what they were getting into.  Learning that he would touch many lives.  That he wasn't truly theirs.  That his life meant more than other boys his age.

No, Max is not the Messiah, and I am not Mary.  But, I find comfort in finding the similarities, and isn't that what finding your beliefs is about.  How these stories from long ago relate to our lives today?

Lost and Found

You can check out Max's blog for a rundown on the fun we had over Thanksgiving weekend.  We had a mild weathered weekend, and spent a part of it cleaning out closets...oh what fun!  We had far too many clothes that didn't fit so we weeded through them and gave quite a lot to the ARC Thrift Store.  I prefer to give to them because of the services they offer to the developmental disabled community, including being advocates for kids like Max in the school.

I think when it was all done we had 5 huge black trash bags full to take them.  It was interesting watching how each one of us reacted to getting rid of "stuff".  Abbey had a hard time convincing me clothes still fit when they were too short, and didn't like getting rid of clothes she really likes, even though it no longer fit.  Steve didn't like to get rid of things that he could need in the future;  dress shoes, suits, coats.  And I had a bit of heartbreak with getting rid of the most lovely shoes.  But, we don't ever go anywhere to wear fancy schmancy shoes.  Especially when they give me blisters.

We were pulling out the hospital bags that sit in the back of the closet, at the ready for hospital visits, and decided to empty and reorganize them, when out fell my iPod touch that has been missing for almost a year!  I was so pleased to know I hadn't really lost it! It was just waiting for me to find it.  I also found my sunglasses, and some chocolate from Paris.  Essentials for any hospital stay.  I knew I lost these things in our December hospital stay, but I assumed they were thrown out in a bag at some point, not knowing they were in there.

As we were going through my many many shoes to donate, I got a little melancholy about saying goodbye to these things...they are, afterall, just things.  Things I don't use, things I don't wear, things I likely won't ever wear again.  But, they had some feelings and memories attached to them.

We have heard before of grief weight.  Or extreme weightloss due to grief.  For us, we bought things.  It was something we could control.  We felt we were treating ourselves, when life wasn't treating us so well. And we did it up big.  We bought nice clothes, and shoes, for the "Someday".  The "Someday" when we would live in London and be able to pretend life was normal.  The "Someday" when Steve would work in an office again, because we wouldn't have to be tied to the house.  The "Someday" when we would get to go out on date nights together.

As we put the 20 some pair of shoes in the trash bags, I felt a patch put over a wound.  I'm sure at some point, that grief will come up again, and I'll go looking for another pair of lovely heels, but for now, I hope they all find their way onto someone else's feet, and make them smile.

Abbey's Lifting...

Abbey has been preparing for a weight lifting competition for the past couple of months, that finally happened this past weekend.  This is a note Steve wrote about how it all went.  We're so extremely proud of her accomplishments.

Two years ago my 11 year old daughter starting going to CrossFit with me.  The coach Jonathan at our gym DEFY! graciously and patiently allowed Abbey to join the adult workouts and Abbey would huff and puff and grind through the workouts like the rest of us.  For two years, Abbey would go to the gym all summer with me then every visit when she was in town.

This year Abbey came to live with us fulltime and one of her first desires was to be in the gym each morning.  She wakes at 5:30AM to go to the gym with me before school.

Over the past two years, I have seen her learn the discipline of hard work, of grinding through physical challenges when your mind and body want to quit.  I have seen her push through tears and frustration, not quitting, fighting and sometimes beating the rest of us adults to complete a workout.

The successes of first pull-ups, push-ups, sprints, tire flips, weightlifting, box jumps.  Daily disciplines developed over the last two years that have transformed her from an adolescent indifferent about physical activity to one that can articulate to you the ways daily exercise affects her body.

Today, she competed in her first power weightlifting competition.  At 13 years old, she entered the Junior and Teenage Divisions of the NASA Colorado Regional Powerlifting competition.  Entering at a weight of 104, there were no state records set for weight class 105, division Junior or Teenage nor national records set for weight class 105, division Junior.  She was literally the first person in the nation to compete at her weight class, division Junior (that has been documented or submitted) for the NASA Powerlifting Association.

By successfully completing the lifts, according to the strict powerlifting rules, she set the Colorado state record for weight class 105, division Junior and Teenage AND the American records for weight class 105, division Junior.  Nine records in all today (six state, three national).  Bench Press, Back Squat and Deadlift for the three aforementioned categories.

Oldest and youngest competitors at the competition.  This gentlemen was 90 years old.  After seeing Abbey's lift, he came and found her to congratulate her.  (I want to be doing this when I'm 90.)

She muses now about the olympics, competing at Nationals (to set the World records) and powerlifting competitively through high school and college.  She has natural ability in this space that could take her as far as she is willing to work.

I am thrilled she has found an outlet she enjoys and something she is willing to push herself in.  The excited of trophies and the crowd yelling your name is exactly what this 13 year old is looking for.  

But the daily discipline, work ethic and knowledge of how to push yourself through a hard situation when all you really want to do is quit is priceless.

videos:

"the future of women's powerlifting" - 

"Powerlifting Back Squat" - 

October in Colorado...

This week has been typical for Colorado in October.

We've had sunny, warm days with golden and red leaves.





We were even able to fly a kite Max made in Science this week.


And we tried for a shot of us all together.  This is the best one out of 6 or so tries.



We got our house decorated for Halloween.









And, woke up to this, this morning!



Look closely...that's snow.  About 6-8 inches of it!







George thought snow was the BEST!  Olive thought it was as terrible as ever.  She likes to go out, do her business, then get back to her warm perch.  George just wanted to play in it...all. day. long!

Here he is getting  a little wild with the running around in it!

Now we're all snuggled up in our beds, with the heater on for the first time this season.  It's supposed to get down in the teens tonight.  Then back up into the 60's by Halloween.  Just another week in Colorado!  

Where's the sandman?

I  thought I had finally gotten him to sleep, and creeped out of the bedroom to sit down to my computer, only to hear him wake up and start kicking the wall again.

It's been like this every night this week.  Abbey gets in bed at 9:00, Max goes to bed around 9:00.  Then Steve and I finish up whatever kitchen clean-up and thirty minutes of visiting we get before he's too tired to stay awake.

I go back into our room to try to quieten Max to sleep, so I can try to work on my coursework.

But, as soon as I sit down, I do mean literally as soon as I sit down, he wakes up and starts kicking the wall.

He's telling me, "hey - get back in here you Momma!  I need to hear you by me at all times in order to sleep. ".

Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow.

Some newness

In case you've missed it, we have a new family member.  More accurately, Max has a new family member.  His name is George, and he's harrier than the rest of us.  But, he's very much loved by us all.



You can read all about how he came into our lives on Max's blog.

A look at things...

I'm still plenty busy with my writing course, but I wanted to share some of the beautiful things we're seeing as the seasons are changing here in Colorado.

Max at the Botanic Gardens in Denver.  A bush of yellow!



Funky cool trees.



A rose for Grandma.



Quaking aspens dancing.



A house hiding in a grove of aspens.



Beautiful fall colors in Colorado.







Max and Addie watching the "ocean" as Addie insisted it was called.  And the ducks.



And, we're getting ready for a super fun holiday/birthday around here.  Abbey's getting ready by finding everything skeleton to decorate with!





Now, back to writing!

Where I'll be...

I just submitted my first assignment for Writing Lives online course through Oxford University. I set out to find an online course that would give me something to work towards. I looked at local universities, and then thought, if it's all the same online format...let's go abroad!

So, over the pond I went. Back to the place I love. Only to find that most of my course-mates are from all over. It's been fascinating reading about all of them today. I think it's going to be an interesting 10 weeks.

I've been writing my blog, and Max's blog for almost 6 years now. And I have a lot of stories, but have millions more to tell. I just don't know where to begin, or how to best organize them. Hopefully, this course will help me with that.

It will be fun to be doing something that is all for me. Even if it means staying up until midnight to turn in an assignment. :)

Just the pictures...

It was another beautiful weekend in Colorado...



























Rocky Mountain National Park, Sprague Lake Trail

Just a typical morning...

My day starts by waking to the sun...or son usually. He wakes me up for a position change. I roll him over and will him back to sleep for a few more minutes so I can properly open my eyes to fully awake before starting the day.

I check email and around on the web. Change Max's pants, as he's woken again. I roll him back over for a longer rest this time, and I get in the shower.

When I've finished my 20 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time, I comb my hair so it doesn't dry funny, put on my uniform, jeans and tshirt, and go change Max's pants again. I change his clothes, and tell him what he's doing for the day. I brush his teeth, rub his furry little head, and stretch his arms and legs. I give him the first 3 medicines of the day, and chase them with water. I wonder if the bandana is too babyish, but know his classmates will ask more questions about why his shirt is wet, than why he's wearing a bandana like a cowboy.

I change his pants once more, and look for his shorts. I can't find a single pair so he's going without for now. I pick him up out of his bed, and give him a hug. He falls back asleep, his warm furry hair nestled on my neck. We sit there for a few minutes, but soon I pick him up and bring him to his chair in the living-room.

I have opened Olive's crate well before now, but she's still not awake. Each time I walk into the room she looks at me, as if to ask why I'm bothering her sleep. I search for shorts again, but still don't find them.

I measure, make, and mix all of Max's food for the day. 660 ounces of water, 4.5 cans of formula, 10 tablespoons of one powder, 5 of the other. Mix all together, shake, and pour into 400ml feeding. I prime him feeding pump, and set it to feed him over an hour.

By this time Abbey is awake and asking how I slept last night, and waiting to be asked the same. She kisses Max, and asks him if he's slept well. I let her know he did, and he's excited to start school today. I also let her know that it is HER first day of school as well, since enrollment has gone through, and she can begin 8th grade. She's equally excited, and runs upstairs to shower.

I go back in the bedroom to look for shorts...where on earth are all of his shorts? I brush my teeth and put my hair in a hair-tie to try to tame the fly-aways. I try to coax Olive out of her bed, but she's defiant. Silly dog.

I start a couple of crumpets to toast, and sit down to see what my day holds on the computer. I've readjusted Max 4 times so far, as he's not one to stay put once he's awake. I have 15 minutes to eat my crumpets, make and give him the rest of his medicine, and get him set up in his wheelchair before his speech therapist gets here, and he starts with Skype School. I'll get Abbey set up on her online school, and help with therapy and school for Max.

Oh, and I found his shorts.

Bountiful...

Our garden has only just started to take off. I was excited this afternoon to see Max's pumpkins finally starting to flower. I don't know that we'll get the giant ones this year that we had last year, but hopefully we'll get a couple of orange gourds for his birthday!
But, even with a late bounty, it's been some good eats for sure!

We have just one week left of summer break. Max starts school on Monday, and he's excited for it! I'm trying to fit in a bit more fun for this last week before the schedule blows up with school. Max got to meet his classroom teacher yesterday, and he'll meet his homebound teacher tomorrow.

I'm afraid that's about as exciting as it's getting around here. Hopefully we'll have more fun through the week to share by the weekend.