Today was the last day of the holiday break. The kids don't start back to school tomorrow, but therapies start back up and business starts back up. It's been nice to have a break to just be still. Sure it's boring at times, but I feel like all we've done since summer is go go go go go go go.
I was able to do a big cull of clothes today. I try to do this once a year and got rid of a lot this time around. There was nothing sentimental, which made it easier to do. The only thing that was somewhat sentimental was a shirt I wore to mom's memorial. I haven't worn it again and won't wear it again. So off it went.
It always feels good to get rid of things, clear things out. Mom was a notorious packrat, and something I've always tried to keep myself from being. I'm working on finding a special place for the things of hers I've kept. The guest room has a few of her things. And I want to make that a comforting place.
I'm trying to write every day to get things out of my head so I'm not up all night thinking and worrying. So for those of you who do still read this thing, get ready for a lot of mind dumps. I'm trying to get it all out so I don't keep it all in.
The past few nights I've dreamt of mom. They haven't been pleasant dreams. She's been dying and I've been trying to get to her to say goodbye. Last night it woke me up and I couldn't sleep for a chunk of the night upset about it. I suppose that's still part of it. The mind playing tricks on me in my sleep. I'm hoping tonight it's just quiet sleep without the upset.
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