Never is it more evident to me that I am truly an introvert, as when we're in the hospital.
The mornings start at around 6:00am with a team of surgery fellow, residents, and medical students waking you up. Most of the time I have just drifted off to sleep when they wake me to give me an idea of a plan for the day. Not the best moment to be making clear decisions or making sure my questions are answered.
At 7:00am, nurse shifts change. The night nurse comes in with the day nurse to go over everything she had done the night before, and give her an idea of what is to come for her oncoming shift.
In that same timeframe, the floor Resident comes in to do his/her assessment on Max. A bit after that, the Senior Resident comes in for their turn to listen to his lungs, belly and heart and get an idea of what they'll be working on for the day.
Morning medicines start coming in and he's hooked up to the never ending pumps and beeps.
I try to hurry to the restroom and wipe the sleep out of my eyes, brush my sleepy hair, and brush teeth...or at least chew on some gum...before the Attending doctors, and specialists start their rounds.
We usually stop around 1:00pm to eat. The morning is spent seeing the nine different teams following Max. Each team has at least 2 doctors who come in for a visit. They come in and want to know what our understanding from all the other teams is...and then give their advice for how things should go.
Before we know it, it is time for shift change again, and 7:00pm. We need to get something to eat for dinner, and then one of us goes home for the night with Abbey and the dogs.
The other stays on and doesn't sit down until nearly midnight because the start of their day is happening, as the end of our day is happening. Max is tired, and we are tired, but still - we are the only constant in Max's team. We're the only ones always here. So, we get to fill in the empty spaces.
Once is gets quiet...and I use that term so very loosely...and the lights go down...again, not even dark in these rooms...I feel like just hiding in a closet so I don't have to talk to a single soul.
I hit my limit this afternoon of talking. I couldn't bare it another minute, so I took a walk.
I think it must have been unseasonably cooler today. I walked outside and the wind pricked my teary eyes. It was a beautiful day. One of those days that tells you change is coming. I walked through the gardens at the hospital and ran my fingers through the tall prairie grasses. I listened to the gravel crunch under my feet. I stopped and watched a bunny chewing on a flower. And I didn't want to go back inside.
But, there was one reason I couldn't sink into my quiet place. That is Max. He needs me to be out of my shell, and speak for him because he can't.
Hopefully we'll find some answers soon as to what is going on with him. And when we finally do get home, I hope to not have to talk for a while!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Ticking away...
The other day, my brother in law texted me and said, you haven't written on your blog since April, that has to be some sort of record, right?
I suppose it is.
I could give all the excuses, life has been busy, I haven't known what to write, Ive been writing over at Max's blog. All true, but also, I just haven't taken the time. Thinking that my energies are better spent elsewhere. And if I have to update and write anywhere, more people care to know what's going on with Max, than what recipe I've cooked up, or the ramblings about my day.
But, I've found myself with some time to write. I was hoping I'd find some time before the end of Summer, not realizing that I didn't want that wish to come about like this.
Max is once again in the hospital. In fact, I guess he actually had a couple of procedures back in May that we were here for too that I didn't write about. Now we're in for yet another emergency abdominal surgery. This time is was caused by scar tissue from the other surgeries pinching his small intestines.
We are hanging out in the PICU at Children's. He's doing okay today. He's uncomfortable, and has a 6 inch (I think, it's covered) incision down his abdomen. They left it partially open this time to heal. Just the thought of that makes me queasy. They said we'll clean it with water and a syringe. Thank you God for nursing care at home, because this momma is not thinking I can handle that.
I have joked about what we're doing this summer to teachers and therapists, "We're not making any plans. As soon as we make plans, Max ends up in the hospital.". True to those words, we started planning a trip to Oklahoma to see my family on Labor Day, and a camping trip in a couple of weeks for my sister's birthday.
Seeing him laying in the hospital bed not able to do much of anything, both of those plans seem impossible. And of course we don't know the outcome of his recovery at this point. But, I can't believe much that we'll be going anywhere.
So, there's the update. Life just keeps ticking away. I am going to try to get back to writing, but I'm hoping to find some writing prompts, to actually practice my writing on here, rather than just updates. We'll see if I have the time to do that!!
I suppose it is.
I could give all the excuses, life has been busy, I haven't known what to write, Ive been writing over at Max's blog. All true, but also, I just haven't taken the time. Thinking that my energies are better spent elsewhere. And if I have to update and write anywhere, more people care to know what's going on with Max, than what recipe I've cooked up, or the ramblings about my day.
But, I've found myself with some time to write. I was hoping I'd find some time before the end of Summer, not realizing that I didn't want that wish to come about like this.
Max is once again in the hospital. In fact, I guess he actually had a couple of procedures back in May that we were here for too that I didn't write about. Now we're in for yet another emergency abdominal surgery. This time is was caused by scar tissue from the other surgeries pinching his small intestines.
We are hanging out in the PICU at Children's. He's doing okay today. He's uncomfortable, and has a 6 inch (I think, it's covered) incision down his abdomen. They left it partially open this time to heal. Just the thought of that makes me queasy. They said we'll clean it with water and a syringe. Thank you God for nursing care at home, because this momma is not thinking I can handle that.
I have joked about what we're doing this summer to teachers and therapists, "We're not making any plans. As soon as we make plans, Max ends up in the hospital.". True to those words, we started planning a trip to Oklahoma to see my family on Labor Day, and a camping trip in a couple of weeks for my sister's birthday.
Seeing him laying in the hospital bed not able to do much of anything, both of those plans seem impossible. And of course we don't know the outcome of his recovery at this point. But, I can't believe much that we'll be going anywhere.
So, there's the update. Life just keeps ticking away. I am going to try to get back to writing, but I'm hoping to find some writing prompts, to actually practice my writing on here, rather than just updates. We'll see if I have the time to do that!!
Monday, April 16, 2012
A new dessert...
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Paleo "Almond Joys"...Steve and I came up with these a few days ago, dried dates, coconut oil, cacao powder, and an almond. These are insanely good!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Sun for My Son...
My last class glass blowing class was this past Friday. After skipping a week, I found myself really ready to get to the class and make my next piece.
I had a nice time chatting with Agnes, and the other class mates. I told her about the last dream I had about glass after the bowl class. That night in my dreams, I was making a sun. I was telling everyone it needed to be bright yellow, for my son.
Agnes helped me think it through and I had help from Cody and Renee to put it together. I did a lot more on my own on this piece than the other two pieces. I wanted to try to do as much of what I learned this time, being the last class.
It's yellow, with spots of red, and orange, with a shimmer too.
Max thinks it's pretty cool too!
I had such a great time making all my pieces of glass art!
I had a nice time chatting with Agnes, and the other class mates. I told her about the last dream I had about glass after the bowl class. That night in my dreams, I was making a sun. I was telling everyone it needed to be bright yellow, for my son.
Agnes helped me think it through and I had help from Cody and Renee to put it together. I did a lot more on my own on this piece than the other two pieces. I wanted to try to do as much of what I learned this time, being the last class.
It's yellow, with spots of red, and orange, with a shimmer too.
Max thinks it's pretty cool too!
I had such a great time making all my pieces of glass art!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Stella...
After the first glass blowing class finished, Agnes said to make note of any dreams of glass we had. I thought it was a given I would dream about glass, because my dreams are so vivid, and I dream regularly. I didn't know just how much the dream that night would unfold into the piece I made the second week.
That Friday night, I dreamed I was making small paper-weight sized strawberries. They were red with green tops. When I woke up, I made note in my journal about the dream, but didn't plan on talking about it to Agnes. I thought that surely everyone dreams of the glass-blowing class after they are there for over 4 hours playing with glass and fire.
The second Friday rolled around and it was time for us to choose the colors for the bowl we were making. She let us look through some powder colors which went all through the glass, rather than in streaks like the chips of glass do. She pulled out a blue, and then a pinkish color. "This one's called Strawberry", she said and she poured a little out.
I thought I should tell her about my dream at that point, so I did. She told me it would be a pink color, but we could add red and it would look like a strawberry. She said that her pieces will come to her in dreams, and if you get inspiration in a dream you should go with it. That's how my second piece came to be a strawberry bowl.
I was first of the four of us to go. Agnes helped a lot on my piece, along with her apprentice Cody. There were a lot more techniques to making the bowl, and a lot more involvement from all of the "team" of students and teachers. It was a fun class and I really love the bowl.
The Friday I was to go back for my last class, Agness called as I was leaving to say that the gas was leaking, so we wouldn't be having a class that night. I had to wait two weeks to see my strawberry piece. When I got there this week, I was excited to see my bowl for the first time, it really looks like a strawberry.
It was pink with swirls of red throughout. Because we put it in a mold, it made some really interesting shapes in the glass and some air got caught too, which I think makes it awesome!
When Agnes asked me about the bowl, I told her how I wanted to use the strawberry color as soon as she brought it out because I thought it would look like my Nanny's vase, that I got from my Grandmama. I told her how similar the color was, and how it was funny how I've thought of Nanny several times since starting the glass blowing because her names was Stella Agnes. Agnes smiled and said, "My middle name is Stella.". I just had to laugh.
The bowl carries a little bump on it's side from where I touched the side of the furnace while spinning it and bringing the pipe out. Agnes said we could try to fix it while we were working on it, but I wanted to keep it.
Because now, it REALLY looks like Nanny's vase!
I've named my bowl Stella. I don't know yet what her function will be, but for now she just makes me smile.
That Friday night, I dreamed I was making small paper-weight sized strawberries. They were red with green tops. When I woke up, I made note in my journal about the dream, but didn't plan on talking about it to Agnes. I thought that surely everyone dreams of the glass-blowing class after they are there for over 4 hours playing with glass and fire.
The second Friday rolled around and it was time for us to choose the colors for the bowl we were making. She let us look through some powder colors which went all through the glass, rather than in streaks like the chips of glass do. She pulled out a blue, and then a pinkish color. "This one's called Strawberry", she said and she poured a little out.
I thought I should tell her about my dream at that point, so I did. She told me it would be a pink color, but we could add red and it would look like a strawberry. She said that her pieces will come to her in dreams, and if you get inspiration in a dream you should go with it. That's how my second piece came to be a strawberry bowl.
I was first of the four of us to go. Agnes helped a lot on my piece, along with her apprentice Cody. There were a lot more techniques to making the bowl, and a lot more involvement from all of the "team" of students and teachers. It was a fun class and I really love the bowl.
The Friday I was to go back for my last class, Agness called as I was leaving to say that the gas was leaking, so we wouldn't be having a class that night. I had to wait two weeks to see my strawberry piece. When I got there this week, I was excited to see my bowl for the first time, it really looks like a strawberry.
It was pink with swirls of red throughout. Because we put it in a mold, it made some really interesting shapes in the glass and some air got caught too, which I think makes it awesome!
When Agnes asked me about the bowl, I told her how I wanted to use the strawberry color as soon as she brought it out because I thought it would look like my Nanny's vase, that I got from my Grandmama. I told her how similar the color was, and how it was funny how I've thought of Nanny several times since starting the glass blowing because her names was Stella Agnes. Agnes smiled and said, "My middle name is Stella.". I just had to laugh.
Strawberry Bowl with Nanny's vase
The bowl carries a little bump on it's side from where I touched the side of the furnace while spinning it and bringing the pipe out. Agnes said we could try to fix it while we were working on it, but I wanted to keep it.
Because now, it REALLY looks like Nanny's vase!
I've named my bowl Stella. I don't know yet what her function will be, but for now she just makes me smile.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Fire and Glass...
For my birthday, Steve got me an amazing gift. A three week glass blowing class at Agnes of Glass in Denver.
My first week, I was pretty nervous leading up to the class. My biggest fear, breathing in through blow-pipe, called the punty pipe, when I was supposed to blow out. In hind-sight, I don't know quite how I could accomplish that mistake, but nonetheless, I was nervous.
Agnes, and her apprentice, Cody, are there through the entire process of gathering the crystal glass, marvering (rolling the hot glass on a steel table to shape it), blowing the piece out, shaping it with blocks and newspaper, and tapping it off of the pipe to put it in the oven to cool slowly.
I've been amazed at how much I've enjoyed this form of art. I thought I would, and have always had a fascination with watching glass art, but there is something pretty amazing about making glass.
I'll share the first week's pieces, then as I get the others back, and photos taken, I will share those as well.
First, I got to make a paperweight. I chose blues as the glass chips I wanted for the flower. There were endless options, but these caught my eye right away.
We gathered the crystal, marvered it, put the color on, gathered again, shaped it with newspaper while rolling the tube on the bench, and then put a pick through the glass to make the flower. Mine made this awesome bubble.
That same night I got to make this amazing meditation globe.
I went with similar colors without realizing it. It's crazy how when the glass gets so hot, it all looks red, so I maybe should have tried a different color-scheme, but I love the way this one turned out too!
I blew the air into this globe, and then Agnes and Cody helped to get it much bigger and shape it. I think unless you are a Master Glass Blower, you have help on your pieces. And I'm glad they're there to help out! When we put the "cookie" or base on the bottom, the glass can sometimes drip into the piece. Mine did, and then came bubbling back up! It was pretty dramatic.
I stamped a "D" on the bottom to show it was mine.
I'm just back from my last class, where I made another globe. I'll take pictures of the little bowl I made the second week and just got back tonight when the sun comes up tomorrow. For now...I'm off to dream of fire, and melted glass.
My first week, I was pretty nervous leading up to the class. My biggest fear, breathing in through blow-pipe, called the punty pipe, when I was supposed to blow out. In hind-sight, I don't know quite how I could accomplish that mistake, but nonetheless, I was nervous.
Agnes, and her apprentice, Cody, are there through the entire process of gathering the crystal glass, marvering (rolling the hot glass on a steel table to shape it), blowing the piece out, shaping it with blocks and newspaper, and tapping it off of the pipe to put it in the oven to cool slowly.
I've been amazed at how much I've enjoyed this form of art. I thought I would, and have always had a fascination with watching glass art, but there is something pretty amazing about making glass.
I'll share the first week's pieces, then as I get the others back, and photos taken, I will share those as well.
First, I got to make a paperweight. I chose blues as the glass chips I wanted for the flower. There were endless options, but these caught my eye right away.
We gathered the crystal, marvered it, put the color on, gathered again, shaped it with newspaper while rolling the tube on the bench, and then put a pick through the glass to make the flower. Mine made this awesome bubble.
That same night I got to make this amazing meditation globe.
I went with similar colors without realizing it. It's crazy how when the glass gets so hot, it all looks red, so I maybe should have tried a different color-scheme, but I love the way this one turned out too!
I blew the air into this globe, and then Agnes and Cody helped to get it much bigger and shape it. I think unless you are a Master Glass Blower, you have help on your pieces. And I'm glad they're there to help out! When we put the "cookie" or base on the bottom, the glass can sometimes drip into the piece. Mine did, and then came bubbling back up! It was pretty dramatic.
I stamped a "D" on the bottom to show it was mine.
I'm just back from my last class, where I made another globe. I'll take pictures of the little bowl I made the second week and just got back tonight when the sun comes up tomorrow. For now...I'm off to dream of fire, and melted glass.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Keeping up...
Sometimes, I wonder how in the world I used to blog daily!
I think it was back in the days that Max slept most of the day, or was content with playing on the floor with his toys, or before school, or before daily therapies.
It's been the opposite of most kids his age. Usually when kids start school, there is more "mom time" in the day to get things done. I still have plenty that needs to get done with the running of the house, but now I have school time twice a day, a therapy a day, Abbey's school stuff, doctors appointments, house stuff, and two dogs. It's no wonder I rarely have time to sit and write a thoughtful blog post! Most of the time I do good to update facebook! If I do have time to put up a blog, I usually do it on Max's webpage, because, really, he's more fun to read about!
I'm hoping Summer will prove to give more time. I've actually told all of Max's therapists we're taking Spring Break OFF! He will only have an MRI/PET Scan on Wednesday, and I want us all to be well rested for that!
So, until then, thanks for reading, and keeping up with our busy lives!
I think it was back in the days that Max slept most of the day, or was content with playing on the floor with his toys, or before school, or before daily therapies.
It's been the opposite of most kids his age. Usually when kids start school, there is more "mom time" in the day to get things done. I still have plenty that needs to get done with the running of the house, but now I have school time twice a day, a therapy a day, Abbey's school stuff, doctors appointments, house stuff, and two dogs. It's no wonder I rarely have time to sit and write a thoughtful blog post! Most of the time I do good to update facebook! If I do have time to put up a blog, I usually do it on Max's webpage, because, really, he's more fun to read about!
I'm hoping Summer will prove to give more time. I've actually told all of Max's therapists we're taking Spring Break OFF! He will only have an MRI/PET Scan on Wednesday, and I want us all to be well rested for that!
So, until then, thanks for reading, and keeping up with our busy lives!
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